Musturbation: Why your thoughts are rubbing you the wrong way.

Albert Ellis defined Musturbation as the “ongoing demandingness about the self, others, or the world”. What are you demanding from yourself, others or the world that keeps you stuck? I know you truly believe that you deserve for your life to be different. I mean after all, your dad was an asshole, mom didn’t take up for you, and life threw you a big spit-ball that you’ve been holding for years. 

So what? 

No really, how long are you going to continue to wait for life to hand you the golden egg, the job that will solve all your problems, the relationship that will finally be “THE ONE”? 

I realize I just lost about half the readers of this post and that’s ok. Some males (seems like more every day) need to be coddled, held, and told that they are ok. “Don’t worry honey. You’re only 35. You’ll figure it out”. Well I have news for you:

You wont figure anything out if you hold the belief that someone else, the world, or sitting on the couch playing video games is going to solve your problems for you. 

The reality is it isn’t ok. You’re not ok. I mean it feels good for someone to tell you everything is fine, give you a little pep talk, stroke your head and send you on your way allowing you to think for about five minutes that things might actually be ok. But you know the truth. You don’t actually believe that you’re ok, do you? 

Beliefs matter. You’re beliefs matter. The crap you continue to float around your head about why you can’t or don’t have this or that, MATTERS!!! Your beliefs, your musts, are the difference between living a life of joy, fulfillment, and peace, and a life of continual blame, misery, upset, depression, worry, and fear. Take note of your demands, your musts, and deal with them. Really begin to challenge them. Get in the habit of challenging the B.S. that you continue to play in your head like a broken record. Watch for the “if onlys’” in your life. 

“If only I had gone to college”

“If only I had my wife would have sex more often”

“If only I were smart enough to….”

Stop giving yourself excuses. Stop looking back and telling yourself that the world, life, someone else, or yourself “should have”. It didn’t, they didn’t, and you didn’t, so it’s time to start now. It is time to get “ok” with where and who you are.