When being married seems a lot like raising a boy

The emasculated, wimpy, spineless male

You were young, maybe in college and living life when you met. Things were great. He was the life of the party or maybe the mature one in the group that was actually going places. He seemed so sweet, so kind. Oh sure he cried easy and that seemed sweet or maybe he never cried and that seemed strong. Whatever you were looking for that reminded you of dear ol’ dad or maybe made you forget your dad ever existed, or perhaps dad was never around so this guy just seemed to be your best idea of what a “man” should be; as soon as you said “I do” he stopped. Perhaps it took a few years but he just stopped. Stopped being nice; stopped paying attention, and to top it off you realize that the cute way he would cry at the sappiest movie was just an indication of his low emotional IQ. This dude’s a dud. Hopefully you aren’t the girl that married the poser. You know, the guy that peacocked his way into your life with plumage on display for all to see in the form of a nice car, jacked up truck or newest motorcycle, wearing the latest designer jeans, a shirt that was two sizes too tight and spending way too much time at Crossfit. Now, looking back you see it was all an indication of the adolescent, man-child you were about to run off into the sunset and raise as one of your own children. I am quite sure I haven’t covered everyone’s experience. I mean there’s the guy that’s just like his old man, a complete asshole, the guy that can’t seem to figure out whether he is more in love with you or his mom, and the guy that can’t seem to figure out whether he’s more in love with you, himself, or the girl he just hired as his “assistant”. Regardless which of these jewels you find yourself with there might be some hope.

I’m a guy so I get guys. I also happen to be married to a pretty incredible woman and I have two daughters so while I’m no expert, I have a slight understanding of women. What I know for sure is that whether man or woman, we all do what we do to meet needs. That is the first thing in understanding the Knight in rusting armor that you’re currently with. Psychological needs are a focus of my practice and that’s where I can help you. Why do you pick the guys you choose? What needs are you failing to meet that lead you right back to Mr. Wrong? It’s usually not about “Daddy issues” or “subconscious insecurities” (usually there is nothing subconscious about them our insecurities). It usually comes down to needs and how you are failing to meet them effectively.